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Everyone knows somebody in their family who never calls a professional. That sums up my father, too. If he was a skilled carpenter or at least a fair handyman, this wouldn't be a problem. He has the best of intentions, but bless him, he's better off measuring and cutting his bread and butter. Based on his last escapade, I am going to tell you how to build stairs the wrong way.

Don't take any measurements. Ignore the subtle hints when somebody asks you how big you'll make the stairs, and especially ignore the obvious hints that involve putting a tape measure on the floor next to you.

Use your eyeballs, that's what they're there for. You can't go wrong. Hey, if you waste space, or your stairs end up looking like the drunk teenager down the street built them, just grin and say, "They have character."

Be sure to cut every single piece beforehand! Don't waste time figuring out if they'll fit together. Get that junk out of the way and cut everything first. Yes, things may not line up correctly and you could end up wasting dozens of pieces of wood.

If your lucky stars happen to be in alignment that day, all those pieces just might fit together seamlessly to create the perfect stairs. Or maybe not. Hey, what matters is you're having a ball either way.

Above all, avoid using quality wood of any kind. In fact, use whatever wood you might find lying on the side of the road, or found in old shacks in the woods.

And hey, you'll be saving money. It doesn't matter if the stairs will last longer than a few months. Come on, it's not as if you spent real money on them.

Working on a new stair project? Visit Build Stairs and discover How To Build Stairs quickly and easily without the headaches. We even cover Hardwood Stairs!